This is un-bear-able news! Two members of the elite Indian commandos, “The Bear Security Force” have successfully eliminated two Hizbul Mujahideen commanders, Kaisar Ahmad and Saifullah, both residents of Kashmir, who were taking shelter in a cave in Shopian, Kashmir.

This has lead to widespread reaction and retaliation from various part of the country.

Former Booker Prize winning activist, Shoe-jana I-run-dharti Roy, claimed that the Hizbul Mujahideen commanders were homeless and living in a cave because of government oppression and the government had further violated their rights in sending the Bear Commandoes.

An unknown representative of the ‘Kashmir for Kashmiri only’ group, over the telephone called NDTV correspondent, Rajdeep Sara-desh-hai-hai, denouncing the incident, claiming that the bears were outsiders and had no right to occupy a cave in Kashmir.

Sources from the PMO reported that the Prime Minister was a little disturbed over the death of the Hizbul infiltrators, was seen popping sleeping pills to avoid spending sleepless nights, and was overheard muttering, “Being member of the minory community, they had the first right to all the caves of the country”

The Home Minister, PC, however, was seen smiling on national TV when he affirmed that this was the (bear) crushing response that he had in mind when he warned Pakistan for the last time on  November 1st, 2009, but assured NDTV’s anchor, Hijab Dutt, that the country is safe since he has various other Animal Commando Teams, that can be used if Pakistan does not listen to his next last warning that he is going to give on December 7th, 2009.

Teesta Cold-bad of the The Bear Right Activists group has denounced the idea of using bears to be trained to kill militants, drawing attention to the resemblance of  Lord Vishnu’s “Baraha Avatar” and wanted the government to investigate whether they were trained by any Hindu organization, like the Bajrang Dal. She further said that the news group, Tehelka, has recently reported that  the Gujarat Chief Minister was seen spending his New Year day with members of the BSF and thus he is most likely behind the idea of using bears for Muslim Genocide. 

Meanwhile, Pakistan has accused to the UN that India is depleting the bear population in the region, and thus not only threatening the ecological balance that prevails in the Indo-Pak border area but also helping Talibans in settling in these previously bear infested areas.


Bear kills two Hizbul infiltrators in cave


3 November 2009

SRINAGAR: It seems these are the worst of times to be a militant in Kashmir. First, a Lashkar-e-Taiba terrorist was axed to death by a teenage girl in Rajouri roughly a month ago. Now, a bear has mauled two Hizbul Mujahideen militants to death as they hid in its cave in Shopian, South Kashmir.

According to defence spokesman Lt Col J S Brar, the two commanders dared to colonise a bear’s cave at Darwal Nar in Pir Panjal in Shopian and paid for it with their lives. For, late on Sunday night, as the two slept, the bear came calling.

“It attacked the armed militants and killed them on the spot,” Brar said.

It was only on Monday morning that an Army patrol party saw two bodies inside the cave and, on frisking through their clothes, found that they were Hizbul Mujahideen commanders.

Medical examinations revealed that the two were mauled to death by a bear. The two were identified as Kaisar Ahmad and Saifullah, both residents of Kashmir, the spokesman said.

‘‘Two Ak 47 rifles and some ammunition were recovered from the spot,’’ he added.This is the first known instance in last 20 years of insurgency in J&K of a wild animal attacking and killing militants, who have their hideouts mostly in dense forests or on mountain ranges.